How I Proposed To My Future Wife

How I Proposed To My Future Wife

Proposing is a bit like a ticking time bomb. Most women expect to be proposed to sooner or later and you can’t leave it for too long because they become impatient. This is even more so the case at my tender age of 42. Neither my fiance or I have been married before so it’s a big deal for both of us and for that reason she was possibly even more ready for a proposal.

A proposal, in my eyes at least, has to be special and memorable. After all it’s a moment in life that you will always look back on with fondness and talk about with family, friends and hopefully one day your own children.

Why I proposed

I live my life one minute at a time and have learned that for me that’s the best way to avoid anxiety, depression and negatives thoughts. And so with that in mind I always knew that I would know the right time to propose. And when that time did come I didn’t look back.

I’d been with my fiance around 5 years by this point. We met each other quite late in our lives, when we were both 37. It’s funny, and as cheesy as this may sound, the moment I met her I knew I was going to marry her. But the reason I waited 5 years was because there were other priorities we had to take care of first. For example, moving in together, saving up to be financially stable, having a secure job. We wanted to make sure we truly did love each other and could put up with each other in the same house before committing our lives to each other! Next thing you know, 5 years has gone by.

So a proposal was next on the mental checklist in my head. My thought was that we wouldn’t be able to move forward with having a family before this if we were sticking to the traditional way of doing things, so it was a necessity.

One day when I was working from home I decided without much hesitation to walk in to my local town and buy an engagement ring. I had been looking online at rings beforehand earlier that week and already decided which one I was going to buy. It was actually a lot easier to choose than I anticipated. It made me realise how much I knew my partners taste (at least I hoped so!)

Where I proposed

I was originally going to pop the question in the bar that we had our first ever date in. My thought process being that it would have sentimental value. However, this took a sudden U-turn when I walked passed where the bar used to be to see it had been renovated and taken over. I was with my girlfriend at the time and remember saying out loud “Oh crap!”. She just looked at me in a strange way.

So that meant I had to reevaluate my plan after briefly considering still to do it in that building with the intention to sit in roughly the same area as we did on our first date. In hindsight I’m delighted I thought against this as that wouldn’t have had the same impact.

Instead I decided to bring the date forward one week when we in fact had booked a weekend break to Naples, Italy, earlier on in the year. Why this wasn’t the original idea I still don’t know as it seems like a no-brainer now. But this suddenly meant I only had a week to prepare and think about how I was going to do it. I’m admittedly quite a sensitive and romantic man at heart so I do have the tendency to be a bit extravagant sometimes. And that’s just for birthdays in the past but this was an even bigger deal.

After thinking of some potential ideas that would have lived up to the extravagance I mentioned, I soon decided against this, thinking that less would be more and that an exaggerated proposal wouldn’t be necessary.

Friday 13th – Who said it was unlucky?

We flew out to Naples on Friday 13th, and that was the ‘proposed’ date I planned to say the words “will you marry me?” I was never phased, honestly. We could then celebrate for the rest of the weekend so it would be ideal.

My fiance almost always makes our plans so when I told her to leave the dinner reservations to me, I thought she might have found it a bit funny but she thankfully let me crack on. I actually reserved a table at a Michelin star restaurant located on the coast after typing ‘best restaurants in Naples’ in Google a week prior to arriving. Palazzo Petrucci was the top result so I went with this one, trying my best to ignore the substantial prices on the menu. Like I said before, I wanted it to be as memorable as possible so I couldn’t be stingy and I never once thought against it anyway. My mind was made up by the glorious pictures and impressive reviews.

After a wonderful day exploring the beautiful Italian city of Naples, eating pizza, drinking wine and enjoying the glorious sun, it was finally time to get ready and head to the restaurant. The rest of the evening was now in my hands. And so too was the engagement ring which I had been hiding in my hand luggage the whole day. I held it tightly in my pocket the whole walk and taxi journey to the restaurant making sure I didn’t lose it.

When I asked the driver to take us to Palazzo Petrucci he instantly made a noise that signified an ‘oh impressive’ type of sound. That was a good sign and was just the start of incredible things we were about to witness in one of Naples best restaurants.

How I proposed

I booked the table for 7:30pm, hoping that we could see the sunset with the amazing view from our seat which was right next to the sea. I did ask for the best seat in the house when booking the table online and they did not disappoint. That being said, we were the only people in there at this time. I forgot that other European countries often eat a lot later than our usual dinner time at home. But it wasn’t a bad thing at all since we were waited on hand and foot. There were about 4 waiters lingering around with not a whole lot to do since there were no other customers. Therefore the second we would look up they would be over ready to serve, the second we drank the last sip of wine they began pouring more, and the instant one of us got up to head to the bathroom they reacted quick enough to pull the chair out for us. It was pretty incredible. I felt like royalty and I’m sure my fiance did too.

My girlfriend and I are massive foodies and this is one of the passions we share together. This place was therefore perfect as they had a 7 course tasting menu that we decided to have with little hesitation. Aside from me proposing, one of the highlights of the evening for her was how they asked us what type of olive oil we would like. Neither of us had ever been asked that before. We could tell the food was going to be exquisite judging by the bread and oil alone.

“So is that a yes?”

I hadn’t been nervous all day up until this point but when I began thinking about how I was actually going to ask the question my heart began to beat a little faster. We had been at the table for around half an hour and by this time there were also two other couples in the restaurant. I’m glad because having proposed in front of an empty restaurant would have been a little lame in truth. On top of that I physically didn’t have a spare minute to do it as before the other guests entered the waiters were always stood in the distance ready to pounce on us (in a good way).

But the time eventually came and I started rambling on nervously to my girlfriend attempting to build up a romantic scene. “From the moment I met you, I always knew you were the one. Do you remember our first date? I had a Peroni” I said, “That’s Italian.” I’m not entirely sure where I was going with that speech but when I planned it in my head it sounded a lot better. I was stuttering out of nervousness but my girlfriend just thought I was a little drunk, she had no idea what was coming which I found out by her telling me afterwards.

I reached awkwardly in to my jacket pocket which was hung on the back of my chair and as slyly as possible tried to take the ring out of the box. I wasn’t sure if I was going to or not, but I did, I got down on one knee with the ring in my hand and asked “Will you marry me?”. Her face was a picture. She was stunned. If I recollect correctly her first words were “Oh my god”, followed by what seemed like a minute of silence and starring at the ring.

I had to ask her to confirm, “so is that a yes?” I jokingly asked, knowing that it was of course a yes. She was over the moon and I was back on my chair with a sore knee from being knelt down for so long. I slipped the ring on her finger and joyfully it fit. I was shocked because I guessed the ring size. I spotted the other couples clap and congratulate us after I proposed as well as several of the waiters.

We took a walk on to the beach through the door right behind us. What an amazing backdrop it was and a great setting to be in at that moment. It was almost like something out of a film as we romantically kissed with the sound of the waves in the background crashing against the cliffs.

After I proposed

I mentioned that I take everything in my life one moment at a time so I didn’t think about the consequences that follow becoming engaged. My fiance on the other hand certainly did.

After we celebrated for the rest of the weekend by eating and drinking even more, including a champagne toast on the beach, the wedding planning began. On the flight home we were already noting down all the guests we would be inviting, the music playlist, the groomsmen, bridesmaids and so on. It certainly made the flight a quick one.

She bought the wedding dress just one week after we arrived back in London, absolutely no hanging around. But I’ve always been one to think that there’s no point being engaged without the ambition in getting married soon after. The big day is October 2018 and we both cannot wait.

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