Dating mistakes – Women in their 40’s

Dating mistakes – Women in their 40’s

Dating for women in their 40’s and over is no different than any other age in the fact that they could be looking for many different things for their future. Whether it’s a serious commitment with a view to marriage sooner rather than later, keeping their options open and just having some harmless fun or perhaps even a companion/friendship to spend time with after an emotional break up.

Over 40’s will certainly be more experienced in the game of dating and this is often an advantage for women. However, not all the time. Below are some mistakes that women often make in their 40’s when dating:

Not giving themselves enough time

After going through divorce, breaking up or even becoming a widower it is very natural to fall in to the arms of the next nice man you come across in order to comfort yourself. New love is the best distraction from the heartache.

It’s important to heal properly before jumping in to another relationship again just out of convenience and warmth. You may need time to recover from damaged self-esteem or trust issues.


When we head in to our 40,50’s or even 60’s and are still on the quest of finding love again, it can be easy to come across as desperate. But it’s important to not let that show.

Showing too much desperation or pursuing someone too often or too aggressively will most likely scare them off. Avoid jumping in to a relationship where you’re buying gifts too early, doing too much too early and allow the other person to call the shots.

There’s also a case of not being needy enough. Hiding your true colours to avoid being hurt (perhaps again). But the other person may not understand that you have a valid reason for not opening up as much as they may expect. They may just see it as a sign that you’re uninterested and distant.

Discussing the painful past

One of the biggest mistakes women over 40 make when dating is discussing their previous experiences. This is an easy trap to fall in to. Sharing negative stories about exes if you’re both divorced or maybe even sharing negative experiences you’ve both had in the past with each other that might bring up painful past memories that are better left there.

At the time it may well feel like you’re getting on great since you’re having deep and meaningful conversation so early on. However, this is not a good way to begin a relationship and will only lead to unhealthy relationships in the long term. Avoid dumping baggage when dating a new love interest and allow time for the relationship to intensify naturally.

Too judgmental

By the time we reach our 40’s we know what we want from a partner, and what we don’t want for that matter. That makes it incredibly easy to go on a date and decide within 5 minutes whether or not we want to take things any further. This is a common mistake from women in their 40’s especially and it’s far from charming.

Being too judgmental in any situation isn’t correct. Going in to a date with an open mind can make you realise things about yourself that you never knew before. Allow the other person to discuss their interests, sit back, listen and you could not only learn something about them but yourself too.

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